The LA fires triggered intense emotional and physical reactions that can affect your relationships as a disaster relief worker. In addition to supporting others through their trauma, you are also navigating your own grief and losses. This disaster may create emotional distance between you and your loved ones, while also draining your time and energy. Connecting with others could be helpful for you to:
- Feel understood and supported
- Experience a sense of belonging and connection
- Feel needed and valued
- Realize you are not alone or isolated from those who care about you and whom you care for
- Boost your confidence in managing the challenges you’re facing
- Find reassurance that others will be there for you
- Receive helpful advice when navigating difficult situations
For these reasons, focusing on ways to strengthen your social support system can be incredibly beneficial. Developing a social connections list can be helpful in identifying who you could reach out to when you seek support.
First Step: Building the Connection List
List out specific people you could reach out to for support. You can begin with the people who are most important to you and easiest to reach right now. Start with family or close community members, then include those you primarily communicate with via phone, text, or email. Feel free to add individuals, groups, or organizations as well.
Second Step: Organizing the Connection List
Now that we’ve identified the people on your list, let’s explore how each of them supports you. There are different kinds of support—some people are there for social activities, while others offer a listening ear when you’re feeling down. Let’s examine the role each person plays in your support system. Reflect over these questions
- Who are your most important connections right now?
- With whom can you share your experiences or feelings?
- Who can make you feel more like you fit in and belong?
- Whom can you get advice from to help you with your career and on field experiences?
- Whom do you want to spend time with socially in the next couple of weeks?
- Who can help build your confidence that you can handle problems?
- Who can provide you with practical help?
Third Step: Setting Up Connection
Reaching out to others may seem like an overwhelming task, especially if you already have a lot on your plate. The following points below can help simplify the process of contacting those in your connection list.
- Identify what you need at the present moment:
- Look Outside: What problem am I facing? Do I need advice, help, or something specific?
- Look Inside: How am I feeling? Do I need someone to listen, comfort me, or encourage me?
- Choose Who to Ask:
- Who can best provide the support I need? Who has helped me in similar situations before?
- Plan the Right Time and Place:
- Choose a time when the person is available and a place that’s private and comfortable.
- Make Your Request:
- Use an “I”-message to express your feelings and needs. These statements help express how you’re, your situation, and what the person can do to help. For example, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and exhausted after this long response effort, and I need someone to listen and help me process what I’ve been through. Could we talk about it over a meal when you have some time?”
- Thank the Person:
- End by expressing gratitude and noting what you appreciated, so they know how to help in the future.
Questions and prompts adapted from: