Stephen Thompson, MA, CCWS, CHRS, EdD(c)
Director of Global Programs & Impact
Introduction: A Quiet Weight Many Carry
In the thick of a wildfire response, when smoke fills the air and urgency shapes every decision, there’s often no time to pause. But once the flames die down, what lingers for many responders is not just physical exhaustion but emotional weight: guilt over what couldn’t be saved, compassion fatigue from bearing witness to repeated loss, and the pressure of responsibility that never quite lets up. These silent burdens often go unseen by the public eye, but they are deeply felt by those who serve.
If you’ve found yourself questioning whether you did enough, feeling emotionally numb, or struggling to care the way you used to, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. These are human reactions to inhuman circumstances, and they deserve care. That’s where self-compassion comes in—not as a luxury, but as a vital skill for your well-being and continued service.
Key Terms and What They Mean for You
Self-Compassion
At its core, self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend or colleague going through a hard time. It is not self-pity or self-indulgence. It is acknowledging your pain and offering yourself grace, even when your instinct may be to “tough it out.”
Why it matters: Research shows that self-compassion reduces burnout, improves emotional resilience, and is linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression among emergency responders and caregivers.
Guilt
Guilt often shows up in disaster work as a feeling of having failed someone, even when outcomes were outside your control. You might feel guilty for surviving when others didn’t or for leaving the scene to rest, even if you desperately needed it.
What to know: Guilt is a common reaction after high-stakes work, but it often stems from unrealistic expectations of yourself. It is important to separate moral responsibility from human limitation.
Compassion Fatigue
Compassion fatigue is the emotional residue of exposure to others’ suffering. Unlike burnout, which builds gradually from stress, compassion fatigue can hit suddenly, especially when you’ve been immersed in pain and loss for days or weeks.
Signs may include:
- Emotional numbness or irritability
- Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
- Feeling detached from your work or others
- Increased use of substances to cope
Recognizing these signs early is a key step toward recovery.
Responsibility Overload
You may carry not just your own tasks, but also the weight of everyone who is counting on you, such as survivors, coworkers, family. That sense of responsibility, while noble, can become overwhelming and unrealistic, especially in disasters where outcomes are beyond your control.
Reframing it: Responsible leadership also includes caring for yourself. You cannot sustain the mission without sustaining the person behind the badge, the boots, the radio.
Actionable Strategies: Practicing Self-Compassion in the Field and Beyond
- Notice Without Judgment
When difficult thoughts or emotions arise, like guilt or helplessness, try to simply notice them. Label what you’re feeling without rushing to fix or push it away.
Try this prompt: “This is hard right now, and I’m feeling [insert emotion]. It’s okay to feel this.”
- Shift the Inner Voice
If you catch yourself saying things like “I should have done more,” imagine what you would say to a teammate in your shoes. Speak to yourself with that same compassion.
- Use Micro-Moments of Reset
Even 60 seconds of deep breathing, stretching, or grounding can help. You don’t need to disappear for a spa day to practice self-care.
Try this breathing exercise: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat three times. Let it be enough for now.
- Reconnect with Purpose, Not Perfection
Remind yourself of the why behind your work, not the outcomes outside your control. Your presence alone matters more than you may realize.
- Create a Circle of Support
Check in with someone who understands. Peer support, even a five-minute conversation, can help process emotions and remind you that you’re not alone in how you feel.
Conclusion: You Deserve What You Offer Others
You stepped into the fire to help others, but that does not mean you have to burn out in the process. Self-compassion is not about doing less. It is about recognizing your limits and honoring your humanity so you can keep doing this important work with clarity, strength, and heart.
In the aftermath of a disaster, healing is not just for the communities you serve, it is also for you.